The year is 2020, uncertainty is running rampant. In an attempt to salvage some kind of shining moment and inner hero in this crazy world, I decided to connect the two generations of people who possess the potential for great impact when teamed together.
Teens / Young Adults and Grandparents (even Great-Grandparents)
Young adults are busy making big life choices that impact and shape their entire future, all while grandparents and great-grandparents have a wealth of life experience to share yet they are starting to feel a bit useless.
Teens are feeling pressured with life choices and the ”best use by date” - thinking their decisions need to be made by tomorrow and grandparents are feeling the looming “expiration date” sticker on their life.
After polling these two groups the last two weeks, it was chilling to see and hear the likeness and similarities in both group's. I mean we are talking age gaps of 40-70 years and the same concerns kept surfacing in both.
Question asked: What struggles or fears are you facing right now? How do you see your grandparent and grandchild relationship?
Here are the top answers...
"I feel lonely and forgotten.“
“They have no idea what it is like to grow up or grow old in this era."
"I'm scared about the future, can I really make it on my own?"
"My friend circle is shrinking."
"Are they proud of me?"
I took this photo at my daughter's softball game this weekend. Standing there looking through the chainlink fence reminded me of the growing gap emerging between me and my young. Right now I am only on the other side of the fence, but one day I will be even farther back from view. I can only imagine how that feels once in the grandparent stage of life.
Teens are scared as they step into the batter’s box of life and face new curve balls every single day and grandparents are reminiscent of the good old days when life was new, invigorating, and when the possibilities were endless.
So let's connect the two...
Trash that use by date label and ignore that expiration sticker.
Push that send text message box, click that green phone call button, and ring that doorbell.
You both need each other today.
Here are 5 struggles grandparents and teens probably did not know they share.
1. I feel lonely and forgotten.
Our Grandparents face a grim reality that they are likely closer to death than others, all while teen depression and suicide are on the rise. Our young people are feeling more and more helpless, inching closer to the breaking point.
The voids that both age groups need to be filled can be as simple as connecting with one another. Sometimes you just need a quiet day with Grandpa on the farm and Grandma sure could use a dose of enthusiasm and energy from a visit from you.
And when there are voids that no one can quite fill, sit together and remember:
“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”
― C.S. Lewis
2. They have no clue what it is like to grow up or grow old in this era.
Life is hard and learning new ways to cope and establish a new pace in life takes confidence and encouragement. 2020 has taken normalcy completely out of the ball game. All generations are learning to survive and hopefully thrive in whatever new reality we all may face.
While grandparents are grateful they do not have to sort through and navigate all of the modern-day challenges, teens must remember that their retired or widowed grandparent has been adjusting to a new normal for many years now.
You may have just been too busy to notice...
3. I am scared about the future, can I really make it on my own?
What will I do if my spouse dies and I am alone? What will I do if I can't make it in life and finish school and find a career?
The exact same thoughts yet 40-70 some years apart in age. Whether we are finishing our race or still conditioning and building endurance, there are strong attributes to share with one another. Grandparents get a discipline-free relationship with their grandchildren and that connection alone should remind both sides that even when the world gets scary, lonely, and too big there is always a safe place to hide at Grandma's.
4. My friend circle is shrinking.
I have always loved this quote and remind my girls often:
"Sometimes your circle decreases in size, but increases in value.”
The older we get the more our friend group size decreases. While as adults we can appreciate the increase in value it is a hard reality to teach our young people who love their social gang.
However, teens still do feel real loss and grief when friends turn to enemies. It takes weeks and months to fully get over the breakup. Grandparents can offer a good dose of perspective on the friend front. Our elders are faced with the grim reality that life's differences haven't ended their friendships; instead, they have physically watched many of their friends die. And it still stings every single time.
So when life hurts, find each other.
Thank you, Lord, for my grandparents my safe place always. And thank you, Lord, for my Grandchildren, my extra reason to live today.
“In order to live a fulfilled life, do not focus on the size of your audience; focus instead on leaving an impact on the circle of influence God has given you.” ― Rosette Mugidde Wamambe
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5. Do I make them proud?
Of course, you do! The problem... we do not speak those words often enough. Encouragement is a key motivator for success. Help each other find success by a daily dose of Nanny's nugget or Grandma's gram or Pa's pin. Keep it simple, make it memorable, and add your personal touch.
Here are a few simple ideas that I created. They are as easy as saving a picture to your camera roll, typing a message, then sharing with your grandchild.
I started this blog as a way to build nurse-like connection and care in today’s everyday life. We have to stay creative, turn down life’s pace, and connect. See your grandkids as the patient and you the nurse. Be a safe place, guide them to find the right answers, and simply listen. I’m here to help you with the technology gap, to help you hear what they are saying, and to show young and old they still have passion, purpose, and calling! And as always we are better together!
*Email me here, and type Nanny's nugget please in the type message area, tell me which one of the above you like best and I am happy to send you a personalized version to save to your camera roll today!*
Grandparents, did you know?
You decrease my chance of depression and behavior issues in school when our relationship is close. I actually love to hear stories about your past and growing up. But never forget I need to know the imperfect moments as well. I am my own biggest critic and it hurts sometimes to feel like I don’t measure up.
Remind me that time is valuable and I need to slow down. I love your unique, non-interference role, no discipline required, and that you are my retreat when mom and dad's fury is on high alert.
Grandchild, did you know?
Every time I see you, or you call me, or text me, or come over, you keep my mind mentally sharp. You give me passion and a spark to keep on living so I can have a front-row seat to your success.
You remind me of my youth. You remind me of your mom or dad. I was young once and I hurt and struggled and I was old once and I hurt and struggled. Go capture the world. Aim for the stars and go after every single dream. Impact this crazy world for good. Whether I am here or in Heaven, I will always be right there on the front row cheering you on. You are good enough. I am proud of you. You fill my lonely voids and make my life complete.
And don't forget the "gatekeepers."
As a parent, sandwiched between the two generations, I will remain faithful to being the "gatekeeper" and ensuring that the bonds still exist between my children and their grandparents even when many miles and obstacles separate.
For both the young and old, remember in those moments when you are feeling defeated or sad to make that call, send that text, or pay a visit. The two of you may very well be sitting houses apart feeling the exact same.
One day, teens will wish there was a road to Grandma in Heaven and grandparents will wish there was one last ball game to attend to watch you make those winning plays. Time is ticking and the bond grandparents and grandchildren can share is golden.
And when in your presence I can no longer sit, I will remember the road map to my final shared destination with you. The map you helped me memorize and store for safekeeping. I'll take it turn by turn with careful caution just like you taught me. And when the final lap for me has come, I'll give it one more go for good measure and then...
I'll see you there!
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