Life has a way of teaching us what matters most. Raising kids in today's modern society is difficult, to say the least.
With life's demands, it can be tricky to share time with kids and still have time alone with your spouse. Navigating demands and allotting the right time to each crucial part is quite a task for even the greatest managers.
Life can change quickly leaving you with moments you can't rewind. There are plenty of boiling point moments that arise and you're often left wanting to hit delete.
But what happens when the reality of life's fragility pops up in the most inopportune times?
Instead of starting your list of regrets, wish that never happened moments, or I should have spent more time...
Hold tight to moments just like this.
And celebrate all the success between the years, weed out the rewind moments, and genuinely become invested in the now.
For each of life's hurts, find joy. For every tear, find laughter. For every loss, find gain. And for every regret or failure, find genuine purpose and calling.
Here are 7 easy ways to create regret-free memories with Dad.
*Or less arguing with Dad - teen mom goal #1
1. Share a hobby while Dad is still the coolest person on the planet.
My youngest daughter Abby, who is very much like her daddy, shares his love for fishing. From the earliest age, she's followed him to his favorite fishing spots, sat for hours catching a whole bunch of nothing, added fishing gear to her Christmas list, occupied a spot in his garage for her fishing supplies, and was content soaking up the sunshine alongside her dad.
She copied his every move, seemed to know exactly what he was thinking, caught more fish than him, and even showed a few boys how it's really done. Simple. Easy. Bonding.
And then you blink... and she's rushing out the door with her friends and her fishing gear is collecting cobwebs. Ask any tween/teen dad drowning in these tough years, and I am certain he will remind you that bonding, while Dad is still the coolest person on the planet, sure will help cushion the blows that come later.
2. Keep things simple and don't rush.
Handle kids with care, they notice. They will sense if you are not fully invested in your time together or if you are rushing to get on to your next commitment.
There is much to be said for the time we are given to spend with our dads. Bridging bonding gaps while your kids are young will help when the now angry 15-year-old crumbles your heart with her words and rushes off to her room.
Nursing is an art. It's a delicate balance of bonding yet maintaining boundaries, building trust while maintaining "therapeutic nurse-patient" relationships. However, nurses glide through these steps almost seamlessly.
We've all experienced that "one nurse" who knew what we were thinking, held our hand when life hurt, and embodied a soft spirit through life's toughest pains.
Just like Dad at your favorite fishing spot...
The moments when no conversation is needed, just presence. Invisible bonds of security, trust, and care are delicately woven together.
Action (even without words) can create the forward momentum needed to heal the hurts and strengthen the bonds.
Don't let the earlier tense conversation, the disappointing behavior, or the disagreement that seems too large to cross cause you to miss the moment.
After all, you'll both just end up sitting rooms apart feeling regret, wishing you had handled it differently, said it better, or just headed down to your favorite fishing spot.
Together.
3. Learn the game of life through sports with dad.
My girls have both learned to love college football, baseball, and basketball thanks to their dad. In the early years, it was more a fun day spent with dad soaking up the Carolina blue skies, crunching on peanuts, and asking for another $10 drink.
However, it only takes a couple of special trips with Dad to learn the game, enjoy the game, and connect in a fun, easy way.
It does become a bit more tricky to navigate when Dad becomes their coach. These are the days they really learn the rules of the game, have some tough unfiltered feedback, and fully learn anger management as Dad's passionate pursuit of winning surfaces!
However, if you're consistent in your approach, Dads can teach these essential life lessons (unknowingly to your child) all while playing the game.
1. Confidence building through setting and achieving goals.
2. The ability to work with a team all while keeping your anger in check.
3. Teaching accountability, discipline, and that success requires sacrifice.
4. Modeling how to effectively receive tough feedback.
5. Showing how we all achieve more together.
6. And the value of having a shoulder (or a whole team) to lean on.
Nurses have been coaching and guiding people to their best for centuries. They've been putting on all the layers of gear and meeting patients smack dab in the dirt and mire called the front lines each and every day. They celebrate with their patient's large gains and help ease the blows of hard losses.
Regardless of whether you're on the field with dad or ankle-deep in the frontlines,
keep practicing, learn the value of teamwork, make the necessary sacrifices and self disciplines, come ready with the needed gear and soon your passion will meet its purpose.
Need some statistics on the importance of sports? Click here :)
4. Teach them to work hard and play hard.
Teaching kids the value of hard work while balancing it with time away is crucial to mental and physical well being. Times are tough, budgets are tight, and you may feel confined to home. However, there are many ways to travel without going over budget.
Most often a trip to the local fishing spot, a visit to the farm, or an inexpensive day trip to the beach often provides the needed boost for everyone's wellbeing.
Dads get the opportunity to add in some survival training while out in nature and it soon becomes a bonding moment that they won't fully appreciate until much later in life.
Push through the whining "I am bored and this isn't fun anymore."
Because soon they will learn:
"Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt."
John Muir
5. Teach them to believe in their dreams even when they think you're not cool.
There are many hard dynamics in parenting and kids and teens are often hard to understand. The easiest way to help turn some of their energy towards good is to hone in on their passions and interest.
Young kids often want to do everything dad does... and then suddenly the pre-teen no longer finds dad quite cool enough.
When inborn characteristics and passions begin to override the old interest, it is important to hop on board and start sharing in their hobbies just like they did yours and keep them focused and in pursuit of success.
Cheers to all the dad's who are the first one to the ballgame, horse show, or practice and the last one to leave; the dad who works extra to make their dreams financially possible; and to the dads who become the greatest cheerleader.
Nurses can never fully understand each and every patient and sometimes it's even hard to fully understand the story, but when nurses and dads give their time and become an active part of the team, we help send children and patients well on their way to wellbeing and success.
6. Show them everything is "fixable" and even Dad's make mistakes.
Dads can "fix" everything or so kids believe...
Kids make messes. Messes that get ugly fast and often seem unfixable to them at the moment. What they don't first realize is parents make messes as well. Ones we most often hide. But it is in the moments of broken pieces, that we teach our children how to make it new again.
Our oldest daughter, Haley, won a platter after a big win at a horse show. My husband, Ashley, accidentally broke the platter. Haley handled it much better than Ashley, who crumbled inside.
Unknown to Haley, we kept the pieces. Weeks passed, Ashley passed the bag of pieces every day on his way out the garage to work, a bag full of reminders of the mess he made.
A few months later with the help of a talented family
member, Ashley was able to regift Haley her platter
on her birthday.
His card to her said it best: "I hope this gift reminds you that no matter how many pieces or how big of a mess we find ourselves in, God is still able to turn the pieces into something beautiful! I am proud of you. You are an amazing young woman and I'm thankful God chose me to be your Dad."
Don't hide all the mistakes, don't shame or relive your children's mistake. Take the pieces and carefully, painstakingly put them back together. Broken things can become new and often much more valuable the second time around!
Fitting the pieces together is an art that medicine masters each and every day - piece by piece. Stay focused, push through the tough moments and soon your "mess" will be a masterpiece!
7. Remember TODAY is your most precious commodity.
Remember in the midst of chaos, mistakes, and tough days of trying to give your kids every single thing they want, the best dads are simply giving their kids exactly what they need most - Dad's Time Today.
Clear the schedule and simplify life.
Teach them that hobby, share your love for sports, provide for them to travel, be the first one to the ball game and the last one to leave, sacrifice financially for their dreams, and equip them to forever succeed in the ways that matter most.
An empty nest will come too soon and tomorrow isn't promised so for now happily share as much of their daddy's time as they want to soak in.
My daddy is my hero, his example I will follow, my purpose and my calling he will help me find. And when I face tomorrow, whatever it may hold, I will forever feel his presence and let my inner hero (Dad) shine!
Hug your dad today, call your dad today, do something in memory of your dad today, and pray for dads each and every day.
Even heroes need saving sometimes.
Sincerely,
Amy
Here's another great read before you go - What do 90-somethings regret most? Here’s what I learned about how to live a happy, regret-free life
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