Today's diagnosis for me is a case of the Christmas Grumpies. My newly created diagnosis, all thanks to too much Bah Humbug. And yes, that is coming from the Christmas Queen!
I had my "love" blog outline all planned out, pondered deep thoughts, and was feeling immense love and joy today as I sat at my favorite hair salon enjoying some fresh locks.
And then life happened... Ever been there? Are you there now? If so, grab a chair and join the party.
I mean, I have hundreds of things to sit and thank God for this Christmas. I genuinely feel the warmth and love from the One much greater who always has my all; and yet, thanks to a few frustrating teenage moments coupled with my slightly Psycho, OCD, type A, and whatever else is mentally wrong brewing in my brain, I was suddenly left having an adult pity party at an orthopedic clinic while Abby sat in an MRI machine (knee softball injury two weeks ago, she is ok). Mom, on the other hand, not so much...
Luckily, however, I carried in my laptop to pass the time. So, I trashed the Merry Christmas love post (Santa, I will save it and still publish it in time to still make the nice list) but for now, you will get the irritated and cranky case of Christmas Grumpies live from Raleigh Orthopedic Clinic here in chilly NC.
Future note Santa, if I am going to be left sitting in the parking lot waiting on Abby to arrive 25 minutes late to the appointment that we waited TWO weeks for - at least send snow. One firm snowball to her head on arrival might have relieved some tension before my fingers started tapping on this laptop in the waiting room.
Go ahead and envision it, a room full of mostly sweet seniors, who I am sure were like "Crazy Mom Alert." Abby: “Mom, your boots are so loud.” Me: “They were quiet 30 minutes ago.”
So sit back and enjoy as I help you cure your next case of the Christmas Grumpies, Amy Style.
Lesson one: You can't change time.
Never use Life 360 as your antidote to the said case of the Christmas Grumpies. For anyone unfamiliar with Life 360 - it is an app that you can connect to as a family and share your location, speed, ETA (estimated time of arrival)... all the things the FBI (mom) needs on her daily radar. However, take note, it does not matter how many times you click the refresh icon... The ETA remains fairly unchanged. That cute little blob on the map, aka Abby, will not arrive any faster by watching the minutes and her miles tick.
You can't change time. You can't speed it up or slow it down. Our ETA to our final destination is also unknown. Try not to let the moments that really don't matter - like Abby being late to her appointment - waste precious minutes on your clock.
Lesson 2: Use your real gifts.
See this family?
Picture perfect, right? Not even close. But I sure am thankful to do life with my people and even happier to share it with you. We have opened many places of our journey over the last 18 months, while still keeping some tough tender areas private. We definitely still need some care and have fresh wounds only for His safekeeping.
Not everyone needs to know your all, but when God carries you through some really tough paths, don't forget to share your journey once the healing has taken place. There are many who need it.
I wonder where you find yourself today? Are you feeling jolly and ready for some Christmas cheer or are you needing to stay tucked under His wings just a few more minutes, weeks, months, or years? Or maybe you just need a good adult tantrum alongside me here, today, at the orthopedic office.
Every time I start to second guess my journey here, I hear from so many of you. It is in these moments that I realize what people really want this Christmas is to hear from the real you. They don't want you to stalk their social media accounts, second guess their parenting, or judge their living, they want you to be you.
It is amazing to watch as layers peel back, shame begins to exit, and love sneaks its way right on in exactly where you need it most. Your real you gives birth to your real gifts. Let the "labor" of love begin today.
Lesson three: Help string the words together.
Writing is how I arrange all the swirling thoughts in my head. It is my response when I feel that deep tugging in my heart that says write, say, share, give, go just a little more. Some days it is not always easy but as I peel back my bandages and hurts, others begin to do the same.
There are so many things people struggle to put into words. I have a friend who will call and say, "Can I talk this through this with you? I know what I am trying to say but can't quite find the right words."
Help others string their hearts and words together with nurse-like care. It may be just the life-line they need today.
Lesson 4: The Editor makes all the difference.
Life has a way of editing your rough drafts. And now thankfully, after a few very hard taps on my laptop - maybe loud pounds at first - my mind has settled. That sweet yet tardy, Abby, who was more focused on the newly made mall trip plans after her appointment, still made it in time to have the MRI all while saying: "Well, mom, you should have known me by now, I always slide right on in just in the nick of time!" Which for the record is exactly why we are here in the first place...
Always edit, be flexible, and remember to account for the Type B, social butterfly-like Abbys in your life. She helps edit my life story daily second by second. She helps me soon find myself giggling when the Christmas Grumpies start to fade away.
Abby, you were my favorite life editor today and you were just the medicine I needed!
Lesson 4: Perspective is a must!
Where are you today? Where has 2020 left you? I didn't like much about 2019, so all this pandemic stuff really didn't ruffle my feathers. I have been in the pit and the entire world wasn't my sidekick. It stinks. Bedside chair sleeping in a hospital room for night 15, waiting on pins and needles for results, juggling kids and a business all reminded me to be thankful for each and every up and down. They are very real signs of life.
Today, I am not at a graveside service and my peeps are still surrounding me. So here I sit, just like you, we've made it another day!
Lesson 5: Denial has to go. Get ready. Winter will come again.
So if you find yourself more often than not sitting in your misery feeling broke, defeated, cold, tired, depressed and always blaming someone or someone else, it's time to finally prep for winter. Like it or lump it, it returns every year.
The only way to change your mindset in 2021 is to start digging in what's left of 2020.
Type the first word. Build a new path. Be the shoulder when no words will come. Look at the balance. Assess the damage and then make a plan. Ask God to help you see your gifts and watch Him take those gifts and multiply the bounty.
Lesson 6: Watch the sunset and hope for tomorrow's sunrise.
As you close 2020, remember the value in your today.
Today really might not be your day. The Christmas Grumpies may very well have to run its unfair course and tomorrow may look even bleaker. Stay the course and watch for the sun to set again tonight and to rise again tomorrow. A new day is coming.
As I close, I leave you with this final thought. Four days before Christmas, my husband and I will head back to the UNC Cancer Hospital and begin the 6-month scans and rechecks. These appointments use to feel like a death sentence or that looming ETA to your final destination; however, after a few of these, we've learned what it really means is I’m alive today and more than likely will be tomorrow - that’s my Sunrise and Sunset for one more day.
I hope love will meet you as you read this tonight. I hope love will meet you as you read this tomorrow morning and for as many days as the world wide web leaves this letter open. I pray it gives hope to your today.
And if life's journey finishes before you can see the next sunrise, may you awake in His arms where the light always shines.
Christmas Grumpies cured, crazy tucked back in...
Merry Christmas, Friends!
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