This post is dedicated to my girls and to all the other girls and guys who have experienced hurt when you genuinely cared too much. If you have experienced situations that have been a bit messy, if there are things you wish you could rewind, and if there are moments you wish you could erase, this blog is for you. Love hurts but true love heals.
To those who cried in the wee hours of the morning, to those who doubted your self-worth and value, to those who allowed others to see your deepest pains only to walk away, and to those who read this and wonder if you should ever open up your heart that genuinely ever again... the answer is yes! Love hurts but true love heals.
To Love and to be loved requires heartbreak. I wish there was a secret formula to safeguard against the hurts and disappointments. If so, I would have erased many tears and saved my heart from needing to be mended. I would have protected my girls from experiencing this same pain. However, there is strength in those battle scars, there is courage in the grit it takes to mend the deepest hurts, and there is power in the person you become as you allow His love to heal your heart.
Don't allow heartache to paralyze you or leave you fearful of genuine love. Continue to give. It is in giving that we find our purpose, passion, and we unite hands with a great big God who heals hearts and lights the way for a brighter tomorrow. Self-awareness and digging deep you will have to endure all your days... but with a new mindset, you will soon be on your way to finding gratitude that you cared a little too much.
I am a nurse by trade, I care. I am a mom by day, I care. I am a daughter by day, I care. I am a sister by day, I care. I am a wife by day, I care. I am a friend by day, I care. I am an employer by day, I care. I am a child of God and because of Him, I care.
Let Him heal your heart. Seek to serve (not save) and watch as His love multiples around you.
Here are 7 reminders when life leaves you feeling like you've cared too much.
1. Compassion requires Action.
We live in a world that is becoming more desensitized to the needs of others, people are more consumed with themselves, and compassion and empathy are in rare supply. We are too busy to be interrupted. We miss divine appointments because our personal needs and feelings are connected to Me, Me, Me.
Today, pray for compassion. Pray for God to show you how many of your daily interruptions are opportunities to share His love.
God interrupts to orchestrate.
2. Your personal touch is one of a kind.
When your abilities are given supernatural anointing your impact expands. However, as we let Him expand our comfort zone and lead us to practice compassion into action, the possible magnitude of heartbreak grows as well.
There is only one perfect love. Brace yourself for heartbreaks. Brace yourself for the days when you feel like you've cared too much. Keep your heart open to Him in the moments of heartache. It is right here that He begins a good work in you. The impact that your compassion has on others will also expand your purpose and give heart to even greater passion.
Heartache healed changes you.
3. Perfect alone time. Become comfortable sitting with loneliness.
Because you have something deep inside of you that God has equipped ONLY you with, you must allow time alone with just Him to fully understand its depth. It is pretty mind-blowing to think that each of us is completely different. No one is wired just like you and no one can dip deep and allow healing to feed your purpose.
Just before loneliness feels more like defeat, God whispers. Perfect alone time so you can hear Him speak.
4. When His desires become your desires, you will take fewer things to heart.
Ever looked back on a tough situation and seen where you actually took something much too personal? Many of life's toughest heartaches are often a manifestation of larger hurt and pain within others. It is really nothing to do with you. Drop the resentment and lead with love.
When we pray to stay sensitive, we must remember that is not asking for deeper heartache. When God's anointing touches your calling, compassion is allowed to flourish in you. Your heart expands. His desires become your desires and here you find healing in moments that felt like you cared too much.
Deep hurt needs to be touched by His hand, not yours.
5. Be easy on yourself. Doubt often leads to life's greatest opportunities.
If you find yourself still sitting in a sea of doubt wondering how you could have ever cared that much for someone, remember doubt often leads to life's greatest moments. There is power in moments when grit is needed to keep taking action steps. Silence the doubt and keep on moving.
Grit is the key ingredient. It provides traction for the action.
GRIT = Growth Requires Internal Traction
6. Highlight "reel" is not real.
One of the first things you do when someone leaves you feeling like you've cared too much is closely follow the other person's highlight "reel." Somehow you are looking for validation that the other person is as hurt as you are... Don't be shocked when their highlight reel feels a bit surreal (bizarre).
The outer shell and glimpses you see are not real. Underneath the surface, there is still a person to love. Learning that many relationships are not intended for you will still produce heartache, but remember the relationship you need is highlight REAL and there is only one story that truly highlights Him.
7. We never fully realize how good it was until it's gone.
Remember the good. Still love. Continue to show compassion.
To my daughters,
When I became a nurse, I took an oath to serve and to protect and provide care for all.
When I became your mom, I took an oath before God and promised to lead and guide you in all His ways.
When I became your friend, I vowed to still remain your mom and protect your well-being more than just your feelings. All because I care too much.
Somedays you hate me and it hurts because I care.
Somedays I worry myself sick and try not to let you see it because I care.
Somedays I put on a pretty face and fight your giants when you are not looking because I care.
Most days, however, I chose what is much harder and I give it to God and watch you walk out the door to fight your own battles because I care too much.
Spread your wings and fly. Do big things, see big things, but never forget compassion and care mixed with some grit is the secret ingredient in every truly successful life.
What you can embody and become with His love and anointing bottled up inside of you will never disappoint. It will be your Why. It is who you are and it is who you will become as you grow.
Great impact follows great care. Serve - even when it hurts too much.
And when you face another sleepless night when you are outside of your mama's arms, look up to the sky and say, "I care because you cared so much for me, Mama. I care because you died for me, Heavenly Father. And I will always care for others because that is who I am called to be."
Rise up, Young Ladies. Rise up, Gentlemen.
Hearts are tender and days are fleeting.
It is ok when it hurts you cared too much.
❤️,
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